When I was growing up, I was an avid tennis player, practically living at the local tennis club during the summer.  One of the popular books at that time was called Inner Tennis. I don't remember much about the book except that it stressed imagining the successful completion of what you were about to do -- serving that ace, hitting that crosscourt backhand passing shot, mutilating your opponent at the net...

The only problem was, thinking all day couldn't make my backhand behave if I ignored drilling with the ball machine.  You can meditate on tennis all day long, but who is going to improve more -- the one who hits backhands for several hours or the one who sits and thinks?

It's a tempting notion though that if I could just think myself rich, athletic, or holy, then I would be.  It's not surprising that many versions of "inner spirituality" have come awfully close to imitating the message of Inner Tennis because the thought is so inviting.  "Think and be, think and be, think and be..."

While this contains an element of truth (the mind is a very powerful tool for good or evil), it ignores the fact that in addition to sinful souls and minds, we also have often-unwilling bodies.  Our minds are very powerful elements of our persons, but they're not the only elements.  If we don't address our bodies, holiness will feel like a cheap, ill-fitting pair of shoes that pinch our feet when we walk.  We can get lost in the reverie all we want, but every time we take a step, our toes will scream their defiance.

It's not enough to set challenging goals (the work of the mind) -- we have to be willing to pay the price to make them come true.

(Ok, so I've only ever played tennis once. And I stunk... This is an exerpt from Seeking the Face of God, a great book by Gary Thomas. But it made me think. What did it say to you?)

Further quotes from the book:

1- One of satan's favourite traps is to let us acknowledge God's conviction, then cause us to mistakenly assume that just because we are convicted, we are changed.

2- We train not because we have sick souls, however, but because spiritual growth doesn't happen by mistake.

3- "Who hath a greater combat than he that laboreth to overcome himself? This ought to be our endeavour, to conquer ourselves, and daily to wax stronger and to make a further growth in holiness." - Thomas A Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

4- Salvation is free, but maturity comes with a price.

... more to come as i read

I love hearing little quips that show what kids at church are taking in and applying to their own lives. For example, we talked one night about witnessing and telling people that Jesus loves them.  Two very touching stories came from this lesson.

One girl in seventh grade was in a class, whispering to a friend in the back of the classroom. Her teacher said "Excuse me, would you like to share whatever you are talking about with the whole class?"  as teachers often do... This young girl stood up and said "Yes, I would." Then she continued to tell the class about how Jesus had forgiven her sins and she was a Christian.  How many of us would be verbose enough to do that??

Another young girl who had a story to tell is a fifth grader.  She decided that she was going to tell her principal that she was a Christian and that Jesus loved him.  When she told him, his reply was along the lines of "Well, I don't believe that."  Her response to that:  "That's ok because even if you don't believe in him, he believes in you and loves you anyway."  I am not so sure that I would be so quick to respond so positively!

This brings me to what I think is the funniest little quip to come out of our Sunday Night program, 4F Club.  A young boy was talking to some of his friends who were having an argument about whether or not one friend believed what the other friend was saying.  This made me laugh. He said "Jesus had that problem too.  He mixed some sand and some water together. I'm not sure if it was special sand or just regular dirt or gravel, but he mixed it with water and put it on the blind man's eyes.  Then the man wasn't blind anymore. The people didn't believe him, but it was true, so they should have believed him. So when someone tells you something, you should probably believe him." 

haha, sometimes I wonder what some of these kids take in, but they remember more than you think!  Although this theory of believing in people may be a little unfounded, he is grasping more than I thought and shows me how important my job is.  I should not take lightly any lesson on any topic. My kids ARE going to remember what I say.

That's a scary thought. I wonder if Jesus had that problem too....

I am ecstatic! For no reason other than that I am going to get to see many of my friends in only 33 days!!!  Thank you Nata, for getting married so that we would all have a reason to get together. We needed that little push. (That IS the reason you are getting married isn't it??  tee hee) Well, even if I'm wrong, Nata, I am so psyched for you!! You deserve this. AND I'm SOOO looking forward to seeing my college friends again.

Guys, I know hind sight is 20/20, but if I could change anything, I'd have spent more time allowing you to get to know the real me. And I would have spent more time trying to hide things about myself and used that energy to know YOU better. Oh, if only we could flip hind sight vision and make how we see things NOW 20/20.    I love you all. And I can't wait to see you again. 

I took for granted having you just up the hill (or even closer for many!!!)  Now I would give anything to have a couple of friends as good as you around to talk to, spend time with, share memories with and love. I have a God given friend here, but I was spoiled... and boy do I feel the difference. 

I'm not sure what the point of this blog is. I guess I'm just rambling.  What I'm trying to get across is that despite ANYthing else, I love you. You are my friends. AND I'm going to see you in THIRTY THREE (give or take one or two) days.

Side note:  If one of us could just get married about every 6 months, we should be able to ensure that we all get together at least once in awhile.. Nata's got May. Justin is going to cover  June 2006 (we are all invited aren't we Justin??). So we'll need someone for sometime in between Sept and Feb... Ali?  Jer? (separately of course )  Steve? 

A week or so ago, I posted a quote about commitment to God but refrained from telling how it affected me.  So here I go.

It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve been home for almost a year!! To be honest with you right off, if someone had asked me a year ago how long I would like to be staying at home, my answer would have been “as long as it takes for God to find me a job somewhere else.”  Which, if probed further, you would have found out that I desired it to be sooner than later!  Now hold on, don’t get down on yourselves, there’s nothing WRONG with being here. It just didn’t seem to fit in my mind as the place that God had fit just for me… THEN.

A lot of you don’t really know my story, all the ins and outs of how this position came to be or the mind processes that brought us to where we are now as a church so allow me to take you step by step through what I believe is a God led journey!

After spending 4 years at Bethany Bible College, preparing to go out into the world and teach children about the love of God, I had big aspirations. I had spent 6 months at a church of 1400 watching God work in and through children’s lives.  I had taken many classes on children’s ministry, children’s psychology, children’s literature, music for children, specialized children’s ministry etc etc. I didn’t really know what to expect or where God was going to send me. So I was happy to be home, filling in and volunteering what I could here while I was waiting to see “the next step”

As time passed, I interviewed at a few churches, Sunnyside, Kanata, Markham. And I talked to a few others – Greeley CO, even Brooksville FL, a seniors village.  But nothing ever really seemed like God was saying YES, THAT’S IT!  So I continued my stay here and continued to work with and fall in love with the children here.  The District Camp that I directed came and went, bringing with it much stretching and growth.  Acorns to Oaks, our fall musical, came and went. We were growing. Kids were coming. And I continued to look for God’s “next step for my life”.

Meanwhile, I was getting a little frustrated at how slow things were going, job wise. I began thinking of all the other things I could do.  Winchester just didn’t seem to have what I was looking for. It had been great during high school. I had plenty of friends and was always coming or going. But it now seemed to be lacking in the social atmosphere that I had become used to at college and Winchester had begun to feel less and less like home.  Plus, a church of 60-70 people… hardly a church for 2 pastors… right????

October, month 6, came and I had pretty much decided that as of Jan 2nd, I was gone. If there were no jobs by then, I was moving to St John NB to live with a friend who had gotten a job there as associate pastor.  I would work at the mall and continue to wait for God to lead.  However, that’s when God decided to pipe up and let me in on his other plans. 

To this point, I will admit that my reasons for leaving were purely selfish.  Of course I could see God working in the ministry here. Kids who we were not connecting with before were coming on Sunday nights.  Kids were learning about God. Kids were learning to love God. But I still believed in my head that this was no place for me. A 24-year-old, single girl should not be living at home with her parents. This was no place to find an “eligible man.”   

One day, as I was praying that God would show me where he wanted me to go, I suddenly had a new thought. It was so totally against what I had spent the last few months telling myself that I just knew that it had to be God talking to me. As I stood there, praying “God, please show me where your next step is so that I can follow after what you want for me”, this thought came into my mind: “WHY CAN’T HERE BE THE NEXT STEP?”  That shut me up for a minute.  What?  Why can’t where be the next step?  Here?  But this is home… my parents home… I’m 24... I’m supposed to move out, not IN!!  Are you serious???

I spent the next few days trying to figure out if I were going crazy. But every time I closed my eyes to pray, God seemed to be saying “Have you considered Winchester yet?”  I kept to myself that week, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I might say something!!  But it never went away.  Why not here? Why not here?  Well, I’ll tell you, I could think of lots of reasons! But they all seemed to pale in front of the thought of “why can’t Winchester be your next step?”  So I accepted it. I opened my mouth. And sure enough I said something. I was talking to my mom and told her what I had been thinking of and how much of a God-thought it was (because it definitely wasn’t mine!). At this point, I was not thinking of a job, but rather that God was asking me to give of my time to his work here. 

THAT NIGHT, mom and I joined the church board at the end of a meeting because it was pastor appreciation month.  THAT NIGHT, the night I committed to opening my mouth and verbalizing what God was saying to me, the board asked me to consider being hired on as children’s pastor here.  And THAT NIGHT, I tell you, I was floored. All I could think of was that my God had set this all up.  Not only had he prepared MY heart, but he had been working on the hearts of the board. HE had ordained every thought and every moment and when we both took the step of faith to verbalize it, God’s will was set into place. 

HM Murray says “Until one is committed, there is a hesitancy, a chance to draw back.  But the moment one definitely commits oneself, then God moves too … and a whole stream of events erupt.  All manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, persons and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way, begins to flow toward him.”

I did not learn of this quote until much later on, actually quite recently, but when I heard it, I could see the truth of it being lived out in my own situation and in the situation that the church was in.  Looking back, I remember all the reasons that I wanted to leave. I was lonely, I had no friends. Since then, relationships that I had then have been transformed from acquaintances to true friendships and I believe this to be a gift from God.  This was no place to meet a guy. And to tell you the truth…. This one hasn’t changed.  To this point, I have not met any guys.  But instead of providing a guy now, God has changed my perspective to what I believe to be HIS perspective.  Now isn’t the time. The time will come, but now, my focus, my time, and my joy is going towards his work at the church.  When the time is right, he’ll bring the right guy to where I am.  That’s the way he works. If we do our share, he does his.  There were no kids.  Haha, that’s a joke.  There were always kids. We just hadn’t opened our eyes.  The church was too small for two pastors. God will be the judge of what church is too “small”.   

It stands to be true as HM Murray says it. “But the moment one definitely commits oneself, then God moves too … and a whole stream of events erupt” Everything falls into place.  And everything continues to fall into place.