My dog is lazy. She doesn't like to get up in the morning until.. well... afternoon.  This makes it difficult to put her outside in the morning.  Usually, this doesn't prove problematic because my mom is home and puts her out when she eventually gets up.  However, this week has been hard because my parents are away, leaving me here to make sure the dog gets out enough. But with me doing Vacation Bible School this week, I leave at 8am and don't get home until 12:45.  Leaving the dog to fend for herself... and getting in trouble if she pees on the floor.  When I get home, she goes NUTS. She yaps, she jumps at my heels, she play bites, she scratches the door.  Quite frankly, she annoys the crap out of me!!  While I try to put her leash on so she can go outdoors, she licks and twists, and yaps, making putting her out VERY difficult. 

I started thinking about this last night as I laid in bed.  While this metaphor falls short in some ways (we don't have to wait for God to "get home"), I began to think of this scenario in a different light, the way God looks at us.  Sometimes we jump and yap and bite at his heels, practically begging God to do something in our lives, to " put us out" if you will.  And sometimes he says "yes, it's time" but we're so busy jumping and licking and twisting and begging him to hurry, that he can't do what we want him to do and what HE wants to do! 

I sometimes try to reason with my dog, telling her that if she would just calm down, I would be able to clip on the leash and she would get out that much sooner, but reasoning with a dog doesn't do any good.   I think that maybe God tries that as well, trying to explain to us that he sees the bigger picture and knows what he's doing, but we've got to calm down and let him prepare the way (the putting on of the chain). 

How would life be different if we stopped yapping and licking God's heels and let him bend down to our level and set us free

This made sense in my head. I'm not sure if it makes as much sense in words.  That's the awesome thing about the way God talks to us. And that's why it's important to allow God to talk to YOU because only he can fully explain to you what it is he wants you to know!

Think about it... its so true. How often do you suppose God doesn't work through us  because we didn't say "Yes Lord, yes!"  Yet as soon as we agree to allow him to do what he wants to do in and through our lives, the "machinery" of our lives kicks into drive, the gears start shifting, and God's will is possible!  God isn't forceful. He will not do what we do not want him to do. Not through us anyway. He will find another willing vessel to complete his will. Don't fool yourself, God doesn't NEED us to complete his work. Rather he WANTS to share the joy of the Lord with us!!  He WANTS to use us.

I don't know about you, but I definitely see the truth of this in my life!! I could write quite a lengthy post here. But I'll refrain for now.  I know what God has done in and around me lately.  How about you? Do you see the work of God that have sprung to life because you have said "YES LORD! Work in/through me!"  If you don't, is there a spot in life that you are still holding onto?  Not yet committed, holding out in hesitancy, hanging onto the opportunity to pull out?  Take the step.  Commit to whatever it is.  Watch God's will bring true life, abundant life into YOUR life.   

All that talk about so many blog ideas bouncing in my head, and how many did I write about? none... lol oh well

I had no idea I would end up meeting so many new people on such a simple internet idea.  I write my thoughts, you respond. Who knew friendships would blossom! Better than hotornot.com I suppose!!!  Been there done that, but we won't go there.. oh my oh my.. how I wish that was part of my early teens and not my early 20s :) Oh well, it made life interesting for abit...

So here's one of the thoughts that I was pondering yesterday.  I am teaching a youth Sunday School class and a couple of the youth have told me that they are reading through the Bible.  After my attempts to steer them AWAY from starting at Genesis and reading through (at their age, and being the first time reading the Bible, that is a TERRIFIC way to turn young people away from Bible reading... that stuff in Numbers-Dueteronomy is hard for Bible scholars to understand I would bet!!!)  Anyway, I decided I should start reading along with them. So two nights ago, I started at the beginning. Genesis 1.

Funny how things that you didn't notice before jump out at you. Deeper things sometimes, but sometimes it is the simplistic that catches your eye as it hasn't in the past. So here is my "deep thought" for the day.

On day 1, God said "Let their be light."  All fine and dandy, nothing wrong with that. He didn't want to work in the dark!

BUT... it wasn't until day THREE that he created the sun, the moon, the stars, and all those other heavenly beings that we as humans think that light comes from!  It's like the chicken and the egg... What came first, the light or the lightS?? And in this case, the LIGHT won out!!  Isn't that awesome?? Isn't it amazing that our God is so in control of everything that he can demand there to be light on earth before he creates those things that we think produce light? It's as if he created those things after as a method of CONTAINING the light.  It blows my mind to think of all the neat things God does.

Like babies for example. Have you ever studied the human fetus?  There are some spectacular things about a human fetus. I'm going to say these things very lightly because i haven't time to check up on my accuracy right now, but the human fetus has FINGERPRINTS when the egg is something like an inch long. The ARMS are hardly grown, but she has a unique fingerprint all of her very own. And people say fetuses are not people!  Now I am curious to find that project that I did so that I can be reminded of all the other amazing features of a tiny fetus-baby!! 

Someone who can make light before Lights and fingerprints before fingers/arms is definitely "adequate" enough for me to follow. In fact, I would have it no other way!  Thanks God, for being able to do it all on your own, but wanting to use us to complete your plans!

Sometimes, in a relationship, things go awry.  I'm not talking about a dating relationship. Or... maybe I am.. but mostly I'm not. I just mean relationships in general.  Something is said and the relationship is never the same again. Sure, forgiveness goes a long way (just ask Jesus...) but sometimes, with people, it seems that if the badness continues for too long, it's irrefixable.  (I know that is not a word... I guess it's supposed to be a cross between irreplaceable and unfixable.  In what I'm speaking of, both seem to be true.) 

Looking back over my life, I see many relationships that are no longer. Some of them the distances and time have just overtaken and the "longlastingness" has slipped away. That's okay. That's the way life is for the most part.  But then there are others that didn't slip away so quietly.  Something happened that shattered the relationship. At the time, it could have been fixable. But now, so much time has past, what does one do???

I am currently thinking of two specific people who used to be HUGE parts of my life. You can guess if you want.. You might be right, you might be wrong, who knows. I don't even know for SURE who reads these things. With MSN gleams, it could be more people than I think!  But as I look back at these relationships, I see great joy. Great friendship.  Love.  Peace. And then POW.  Ok, so neither one was THAT quick. But POW nonetheless. It was painful at first... now it's sort of a dull ache in the back of my heart that comes and goes but I don't expect to ever FULLY go away forever. 

Sure, I've tried to mend.. but she thinks I'm in it for the wrong reasons.. And he, well, he hasn't talked to me in eons since my LAST big mistake.  And they've moved on. And so have I. But it's that part of my heart that wishes things could be mended. 

The silly little fireside song holds a lot of truth to me today.  "Make new friends but keep the old ones. One is silver the old gold."  Silver and gold aren't everything. There is much more to life than silver and gold.  But when it is in the form of friends, silver and gold can be irreplaceable.

To my friends, I love you. Please, let's not let silly things come between us. We may not be close forever (heaven forbid!!)  but let's not look back and be saddened by the things that drove us apart.   I love you all.

And if you're out there and I haven't talked to you in awhile, give me a call. Write an email. Share a joke.  I'm around and I'd love to hear from you! 

Sarah

This entry has been lifted straight off of my dad's blog. He said it better than I could, so why mess with it?

"Can you imagine anything more absurd than Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew telling the Church to stay out of the debate about marriage? (National Post, Jan. 28, 2005)  Perhaps parents should stay out of conversations about how to raise children?  Perhaps Wayne Gretzky should stay out of hockey discussions?

What could be more arrogant or insolent than thinking the Church should stay out of conversations about moral issues?  Perhaps Pierre Pettigrew and his band of "Martin"ites would do me the favor of staying out of Canadian politics.  I'm afraid some prayers have no answer in the forseeable future.  

I wonder if they have any idea how absurd they are.

I'm angered and insulted, and I fear that church and politics may not be separate in tomorrow's sermon."

This song came on by random selection right after I wrote that last blog. I thought it was quite fitting and listened to it a few times in a row, suddenly hearing it differently than I have heard it many times in the past! Thought I would share it with you!

“Cry in my Heart” - Starfield

There’s a cry in my heart
For your glory to fall
For your presence to fill up my senses
There’s a yearning I get
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could you take me beyond?
Could you carry me through?
If I open my heart
Could I go there with you?

For what do I have
If I don’t have you Jesus?
What in this life could mean anymore?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter of my head

There’s a cry in my heart
For your glory to fall
For your presence to fill up my senses
There’s a yearning I get
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could you take me beyond?
Could you carry me through?
If I opened my heart,
Could I go there with you?

For I’ve been here before
Yet I know there’s still more
Oh Lord, I need to know you

For what do I have
If I don’t have you Jesus?
What in this life could mean anymore?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter of my head
(x2)

Lifter of my head

Once a month, all the Wesleyan pastors in my zone get together for breakfast and have a time of encouragement, discussion, and prayer. Starting next month, we are doing a study of Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline. This is a book that I have read before, but as I look forward to reading it again, because being disciplined is something I know I could use more of!!!

However, as I began reading the first chapter, I have already been brought back a step in my heights of desired achievements. I have had it in my head that "if only I could pray better." or "if only I spent more time in the Word".  Don't get me wrong. Those things are important! But my focus has been wrong!  The first three words point out what I thought praying better or spending more time in the Word would do.  "If only I..."  It's been about me and what I could do better if I did these things. No. That's not right. I see now, from this first chapter how faulty my thinking has been.  "Will worship". "If only I could." Isn't that the same thing? Am I worshiping my own will by saying "If only I..."

I am praying that God will create in me a clean heart. That I will hand him over the reigns and allow him to change me from the inside out. Nothing that I can do will change me. It is what I allow him to do in me. The changes HE makes. 

"We must always remember that the path does not produce the change; it only places us where the change can occur. This is the path of disciplined grace."

Here are other quotes that I have drawn out of this book that stuck out in one way or another.

“Will worship”: "The moment we feel we can succeed and attain victory over sin by the strength of our own will alone is the moment we are worshiping the will.  Isn’t it ironic that Paul looks at our most strenuous efforts in the spiritual walk and calls them idolatry, 'will worship'?" (Col 2:20-23)

“As long as we think we can save ourselves by our own will power, we will only make the evil in us stronger than ever.” – Heini Arnold

“'Will worship' may produce an outward show of success for a time, but in the cracks and crevices of our lives our deep inner condition will eventually be revealed."

"The Disciplines are God’s way of getting us into the ground; they put us where he can work within us and transform us. By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing."

I tripped over a rather extensive list of phobias. I found it rather interesting to flip through and see the many CrAzY things some people are actually afraid of. Some of them seem absolutely ridiculous... but they wouldn't have earned the right to have a ______ophobia name if SOMEONE wasn't actually afraid of them. 

Here is a list of some of my favourite (for many reasons) and what I consider the funniest phobias. 

Anablephobia- Fear of looking up

Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single (i think I can understand this one...)

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth  (are they serious???)

Barophobia- Fear of gravity (wouldn't you be MORE afraid of NO gravity??)

Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys and the bogeyman (hehehehe)

Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation

Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions (I think I may suffer from this one... but I might not..)

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers

Geliophobia- Fear of laughter (what a sad sad world that would be)

Geniophobia- Fear of chins (what????)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words (haha, that's just cruel)

Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body (wouldn't that be EVERYTHING...)

Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing

Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love

Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13 (this one isn't really my favourite or funny... but my sister who carried a couch up 17 flights of stairs was sure happy there are silly people when she got to the 13th floor and found out it was the 14th)

So while I think some of these are rather silly and don't warrant actually having a NAME, it did make me set to thinking about what I am afraid of.   After thinking, I've decided that the thing that I am MOST afraid of is looking stupid in front of other people. That is always something I consider. "What will people think?" And it probably makes me act even MORE nervous and therefore look MORE silly than if I didn't care what they thought at all. So it's really working against me. But what fear DOESN" work against you??

The only thing worthy of fear is God himself. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Psalm 111:10.  Almost every other place we see fear in the Bible, they are being told to not fear.  Sixty five times, the phrase "do not be afraid" is repeated. Eighteen times, the phrase "do not fear" is repeated. Think someone is trying to tell us something???

Anything is possible with God.  If God is for us, who can be against us?

Really, what have we got to be afraid of??

(Monday, here I come )

It seems to me that my blog is missing something... it didn't take me long to realize that "the missing something" is depth.  Surely there is a thought in my head that is deeper than living in pretend relationships and races between material things.  Tomorrow... tomorrow I will try to dig deeper and create an actual thought. Who knows, I might just change the world.. or at least MY world.

After much deliberation of where God's "next step" was for my life, I have recently accepted a position as director of children's ministry at my home church.  I am VERY excited about this.  The way it was all laid out is proof to at least me that this is God's plan, and not simply mine. 

It started when I arrived home.  I began doing things with the ministry but was always looking outside for the direction to my next step, fully believing this was time filler. As time was being filled, so was my heart. With love for the children that I was working with. With love for the volunteers that I was working with. And with love for the God-steps being taken in children and their families in my church.  But I continued to look outside for the next step. 

One day, I was figuratively slapped in the face by my reasoning for looking to the outside.  Why couldn't the next step be right here?  With the children I already know and love.  So I lulled this over in my mind, not mentioning it to anyone. Then one day, it just kinda spilled out in a conversation with my mom, where she encouraged me to just listen to God's leading. THAT NIGHT, not an hour later, I was offered a job. Right here at home. with the children and families i love. 

i shouldn't have been surprised. While I was in MI last fall, I was struck by the same idea. Work at home. And I was serious about it for awhile. Although I mentioned it to no one but my supervisor. And then the idea simply slipped away forgotten.

All this to say, God really does speak. It may not be loud and in a storm cloud. It may not be in a mightly earthquake.  It might not be in a big fire. As Elijah learned, sometimes it's in the quietness of a gentle breeze. Listen to the little things of life. You may just find God there.

I take no credit for this thought. It was not mine. But it did make me think. So now it is mine!

DANCING WITH GOD

When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE.

When I saw "G," I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i." "God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.

If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else, for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another

AND I HOPE YOU DANCE!!!!!

you know those kids that just don't listen? that when you try to talk to them, it seems you would get farther if you directed your comments to the wall rather than wasting time trying to get through to them?  the ones that seem to want attention the easiest way possible -- getting in trouble? 

those kids touch my heart. they pull at me sometimes even more than those adorable little bundles of joy that anyone would be crazy to not love being with.  maybe i'm crazy. maybe i enjoy a challenge. or maybe i just like to give these kids a chance.

a certain young boy came into my life about 8 months ago now.  a challenging little one.  but underneath the rough cover up, there lies a little boy dying to be loved.  dying to be accepted. dying to hear from someone, from anyone, that he's not just a bad kid. many do their professional duty with him and send him on his way, glad to have the night "off". i miss him when he's away. not because he's the best child i know. not because he's different for me. but because i know that each time he is with me, i have an opportunity to show him that someone cares. God, grant me the patience to continue to care, to not celebrate when he's gone but to cherish the moments he is there.

some kids are naturally good. those children are fantastic and i would never want to do without. but it's the ones that give me a good challenge that keep me on my toes. allowing God to stretch me to the full capacity of the ministry He has for me to do. thank you God, for trusting me with your children